Readjusting to Reality

Is it okay for a guy who writes about politics to completely ignore the Democratic Convention?

I have no opinions today since I’ve been out of the news loop for almost a month. It’s a nice change, and it won’t last long. Oh no. Give me a day or two and I’ll have plenty. By that time the convention should be blessedly almost over. Should I really spend my time getting caught up on a bunch of nonsense? I’d rather catch up on the important things I’ve missed if that’s okay with everybody.

All I’ve really figured out so far is that some guy named Sandy Berger got in trouble for something that has to do with his pants. I’ve no idea. Please don’t explain it to me in the comments. This, I think, is one of those things that ought to go straight to the memory hole before even passing into the brain.

So anyway, the convention. Who cares? It has nothing to do with anything. It's a bunch of b.s., just like the upcoming Republican Convention - which I also intend to ignore. No real news will emerge. That is by design. Ever since the right-wing put on that freakshow double-headed by the two Pats in Houston back in 1992 conventions are scripted to be boring on purpose. This is probably wise. That turkey in Houston scared me off the Republicans for a decade. No one in either party wants something like that to happen again.

Thank God I’m not a reporter stuck covering these things. I’d rather head down to Rachel, Nevada and write about UFO goofballs in the desert. That might actually be entertaining. My left-wing friend Marc Cooper is covering the Democrats and says (in my comments section) he feels he's being “held prisoner” by the DNC. I’ll bet. He liked my Tunisia photos, said they were a nice break. I understand. The real thing was even better. I think Marc would rather be fishing the waters of Baja. So would I. So would most other people.

I don’t know who I’m going to vote for in November. In the next few weeks and months I’m going to be thinking long and hard about this. I’m going to build two separate cases: The liberal case for Bush and the hawkish case for Kerry. Both strike me as dubious, and will strike most other people as dubious too. But I don’t have anything else to work with here. The liberal case for Kerry is obvious. The conservative case for Bush is equally so. You don’t need me to explain either one and, besides, neither speak to my concerns at this time.

In the meantime, I’m saving most of my Tunisia material for paid work. If you’re still interested in reading about the country, I’ll provide links to those pieces as always. I’ll also post a travel narrative that won’t make it into a column just as soon as I’m finished writing it. So stay tuned for that.

It’s nice to be home. I have a brand-new home office that I finished remodeling just before I left the country. I can eat bacon and eggs for breakfast again. I can log onto the Internet whenever I want. I can talk to anyone I please without worrying about the language difference. I can get a cup of coffee that’s more than an inch deep, and I can sleep in my queen-sized bed where my feet don’t stick out the bottom all night. I can kiss my wife in public without being offensive. And I can pet my cats.

We came home and found baby fish in our pond. Life is good.

UPDATE: By the way, my traffic is down by half. If you have your own blog and you feel like letting the world know I'm back from vacation, I promise not to get mad.