Michael J. Totten: Discombobulated

April 28, 2004

Discombobulated

Wow. ‘Twas the first day of the rest of my life and I’m feeling strange. It’s weird not having a day job. I took a look around the house and realized damn I’m behind on domestic crap. I can’t believe there’s so much around here that needs to be done that hasn’t been done. When I only have so much time for chores and whatnot I can only “see” so much.

I don’t feel normal. I have vestigial work stress hanging over me, like I have to get up and go to work tomorrow, or at least on Monday. I have free time to do lots of stuff that needs to be done, but it feels like that free time will end any minute. It won’t. I’ve been working seventy hours a week counting my multiple jobs and projects (including this blog) and now I’m way down. I won’t get back to that schedule for a long time because I don’t need to. That doesn’t seem real. It hasn’t sunk in yet.

I dreamed about my now-former job, which I held for four and a half years, for the first time ever last night. In my dream I went to work like it was a normal day. It was a boring dream of a boring day, and I woke from that dream feeling like I was in another dimension.

I have no idea what happened in the world today because I’ve been inside my own head. I don’t have any opinions today. It’s kinda nice for a change.

I’ll be back when I get sorted out. Could be any minute…

Posted by Michael J. Totten at April 28, 2004 09:18 PM

Comments

Get some exercise Michael. Lift weights, run, bike, whatever you do, go do it. Beat the hell out of your body today. The sweat and physical exhaustion will do wonders for your psyche. Hang in there.

Posted by: spc67 at April 28, 2004 09:39 PM

My advice to you, Michael...

Go out tonight and get really plastered. You'll wake up tommorrow right as rain. Then the answers will come. Alcohol solves everything. ;)

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 28, 2004 09:39 PM

Oh, my remedy is SOOOO much better than his!

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 28, 2004 09:40 PM

I don't want anyone to get the idea I'm having a bad time. Everything is peachy over here, it's just really weird.

The last time I didn't have to spend most of every day at a certain place for a specified period of time was when I was five years old. My finances are fine. This is great. I just can't get my mind around it yet.

Posted by: Michael J. Totten at April 28, 2004 09:44 PM

Do you have a power drill? Beware the man with a power drill, and empty house, and an open schedule...

Posted by: Independent George at April 28, 2004 09:58 PM

Alcohol solves everything. ;)

Except spelling ;)

Posted by: spc67 at April 28, 2004 09:59 PM

Whoh...what did I misspell?

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 28, 2004 10:14 PM

Do you have a power drill?

Hell yes, I have all that shit. I need a new home office. And I am going to get one.

Posted by: Michael J. Totten at April 28, 2004 10:42 PM

I got my first power drill last year. I never understood the fascination with them, the love and affection. Now it all makes perfect sense.

You build yourself the best damn home office that ever existed with that power drill, Michael. You've earned it. But, oh, how I envy you.

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 28, 2004 11:13 PM

Fiction or nonfiction?

Posted by: miklos rosza at April 28, 2004 11:29 PM

What you talkin' about, Miklos?

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 28, 2004 11:33 PM

Grant,

I won't build a home office. My house is an old Victorian and she wouldn't forgive me for adding on. One of our spare bedrooms is toast, though. That bed is going in the basement...

Posted by: Michael J. Totten at April 29, 2004 12:01 AM

MJT,

I’ll be back when I get sorted out. Could be any minute…

...right after the latest Springer show. ;-)

Posted by: HA at April 29, 2004 02:58 AM

Some people manage to do everything the right way 'round. Save while they're young. Take time to chill out while they're in their prime. Marry the perfect person first up.
Me, I'm the opposite!
Good luck Michael, not that you'll need it. You seem resilient enough to make your own luck.
Does this mean more blogging? I hope so!

Posted by: suzanne at April 29, 2004 03:51 AM

I went through a 5 month unemployment cycle - like you I saw it coming and saved up for it. It was still stressful, primarily because my wife was 3 months pregnant when it started. Alas.

It was actually a good time - I got to work on projects that I wanted to work on, learned more about networking (with other people), got to learn some new technologies. It was actually better than a regular vacation - vacations (I have found) are always stressful and expensive, and yet you dread as the days tick by that it is going to end.

On the unemployment vacation, however, we stayed at home, didn't waste money, didn't try to work in a bunch of relatives and theme parks and museums, etc in one day. Lastly, relatively speaking, I was looking forward to the end of the vacation.

It sounds like your wife is still working, and you have side projects - I hope you'll get the chance to really take control of your destiny.

Good luck,
John

Posted by: John Brothers at April 29, 2004 06:22 AM

Michael,

Boy, can I relate to your situation and the need to decompress. Last August I left my job at the ‘collective’, I was there for 4 overly ‘PC’ years, and was out of work until very recently. I also dove into home matters, cleaning cabinets and closets, re-painting several rooms, throwing out years of accumulated junk, making new curtains and cushion covers, and turning old crates into new shelving. (And still it’s not all done! I still have the ‘office’ area to sort out and make really usable.) I found all this, and blogging by the way, very grounding and therapeutic, you know, ring out the old ring in the new.

I didn’t panic and waited for a want-ad to really strike a chord of genuine excitement in me. As a result, I love my new job; I’m now administering neuro-psychological tests to help diagnose or rule out ADD, dementia, and other cognitive difficulties. I’m back in my originally intended field, those 4 years at the ‘collective’ being a hiatus from my 13 previous years in human services, in an exciting new capacity off the ‘front lines’ of group homes or psychiatric units, but still (hopefully) making a real difference in people’s lives…and the pay is better too…better than any job I’ve ever held. I thank god every day that I left that concentrated ‘collective’ form of everything that’s wrong with the ‘left’ excuse for a job.

The only thing I would’ve done differently was to wear proper supportive footwear while doing those heavy household chores instead of the beat-up slippers that eventually led to some problems with my feet. So, Michael, enjoy your free time. And, while you’re moving that bed to the basement and working to design your home office, be sure to wear some good sneakers!

Posted by: Cara Remal at April 29, 2004 07:04 AM

"Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."--Homer Simpson

Posted by: Pat Curley at April 29, 2004 08:04 AM

I’ll be back when I get sorted out.

I think you've already got it sorted out, MJ. You're just having problems recognizing the condition. :)

Posted by: Boyd at April 29, 2004 08:05 AM

"It's not where you come from, it's more where you're going and knowing the going might get strange. The world's greatest writers are all drunks and fighters. Get going! That isn't going to change."

-Dicky Barrett (of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones)

Posted by: Grant McEntire at April 29, 2004 08:37 AM

"The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine."

- Emerson

You've got a good one. Use it well.

Posted by: Ged of Earthsea at April 29, 2004 09:14 AM

The day after I got laid off last July, I took advantage of the sunny weather to mow the back lawn...I disturbed the hornet's nest that was hitherto hidden in the rhododendron and got nailed by three of the suckers before I was able to get away, thus adding injury to insult.

Watch out for those hornet's nests, both literal and figurative!

Posted by: Brian Swisher at April 29, 2004 10:03 AM

While I am sorry you're discombobulated--that's how I spend most of MY life--I have great hopes for you. Is there a possibility you could write a book? Maybe something on the disintegration of the democratic party and all the factions that have taken it over? True liberalism and it's decline? The topic in your capable hands would be a marvelous gift to the world. Think about it while you "remodel".

Posted by: Mouse at April 29, 2004 12:57 PM

took a look around the house and realized damn I’m behind on domestic crap.
*************************************************

Could this explain your wife's reaction to the news? ;-)

*************************************************
When I called my wife at work to tell her what happened I thought she might freak out. Instead she said “Woo hoo!”

Posted by: Daniel Kauffman at April 29, 2004 01:01 PM

So you skipped elementary, middle, and highschool? Hee hee. :)

Seriously, welcome to my world. As you know bob, I have been unemployed for four years, and I assure you, there is no chance you will ever catch up on the domestic stuff. Forget it. Just write.

Posted by: karrie at April 29, 2004 03:18 PM

I downsized myself about 2 1/2 years ago. It's incredible how good you feel. It really takes about two weeks to get used to not having to get up and go to a job in the morning, from then on you've got nirvana.

I don't know what you were doing, but it seems apparent your calling is writing. Get to it.

Good luck with your new life.

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Here is something where we can all have a chuckle, at the expense of Muslim extremists:

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She's a hit in Norway:

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Posted by: RSN at April 29, 2004 07:37 PM

Hey Michael,

considering you have so much time now, you could go ahead and add an article or two, don't you think.

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