My girlfriend leaves this August for a year in Eygpt so, just let me say, I feel ya on the whole trepidation factor.

My advice, Michael: If asked, say you're from Canada. Works like a charm. ;)

"So if you travel around the world, and, you – you know, you know – cause your American foreign policy does give you a difficult time to exist around the world, two tricks: one, say you’re Canadian, that helps. And uh...It is, it works in Europe, it’s very good. And the second is, uh, just say, “Shaggy and Scooby.” And they go “Shaggy and Scooby!” International credit card, I think."

-The Great Izzard

I used to live in Libya when I was a kid, only a short half-century ago -- it had some nice beaches, crappy roads, nasty people, and lots of sandstorms. It doesn't seem to me that it would be a great place to visit, but my sister, who has ties to the Middle East, may have a different opinion, so I'll check.

It's not cowardice t oavoid Fallujah.
To go there: what purpose? Why take such a risk? Do you speak Arabic, do you have a reconstruction skill they need, are you hired for some task?
You're a family man, so the only excuse for taking a risk with your life: as a soldier, as a philanthropist, as an aid worker. Not as a "human shield" (remember them?) or potential hostage.

You'll probably know all this stuff, but at the risk of stating the obvious, here goes:

1-When asked what's your religion, don't say atheist or agnostic. Nazarene is good. (Uh, if you're Jewish, you might want to keep it to yourself.)
2-When asked if you've read the Koran, say yes. The most intelligent, worldly-seeming Muslim may try to convert you, and be persistent, if you're not firm. (I sort of assume you'll read it, if you haven't already, because of who you seem to be.)
3-I'm sure your wife knows all about this, if she was in Morocco, but make sure she's covered up.
4-Don't sample the local kif.

Italian soldiers have been fighting in Iraq; the next likely Spain-type targets are either Italy or the UK. As I'm sure you're well aware. And this hostage-taking thing seems to be really catching on. Remember the tourists in Algeria a while back?

The Atlantic article reminded me of the scene in "Patton" where Patton (George C. Scott) and Bradley (Karl Maulden) take a detour to an ancient Roman battlefield and Patton announces that he fought in the Roman battle, and Bradley looks at him like he was a nut. I think that scene took place in Tunisia as best I recall.

Good luck in Libya. Hope that you can avoid the more mundane risks of travel as well as any potential hostile reception.

Oh and you might to familiarize yourself with Gaddafi and his son's alleged ambition to have Libya host the World Cup in 2012. The son coaches an Italian team, I believe. They're soccer nuts, in any case. Never underestimate personal vanity as a motive force.

There is (supposedly) a Libyan Embassy in Tunis. It should be at the following address(es).
Embassy of Libya in Tunis
48 Bis Rue Du Ler Juin
Tunis, Tunisia

There is a consulate about halfway on your drive to Tripoli in a small town called Sfax
Consulate General::
35 Rue Alexander Dumas
Sfax, Tunisia

I pulled it from the following web site -
http://www.libyanet.com/embassy.htm

I don't think you will have too much to worry about in Libya. I'm sure most people there will love the fact that anyone with money is coming to visit them. But because of that take the normal precautions for pickpockets and thieves. I do not know the customs for women in Libya. My wife is from Morocco, so I know it can vary greatly from town to town. No knowing Libya, I would probably discourage shorts or above the knee skirts for your wife, and she might want to take a scarf with her, just in case.

Michael,

A casual search turned up this article concerning where to apply for a visa. I would also advise asking your friends in Milano (if they are Italian) to check with an Italaina travel agency for you. Alternatively, I imagine that getting a visa in Tunisia would be relatively simple. You might wish to use a Tunisian travel agency to book your stay in Libya. Travel agencies generally offer the best means of quickly obtaining requisite info concerning travel docs.

Make sure you check out the Roman ruins in Leptis Magna and Carthage. I believe there are some good sites in Libya too.

Trust nobody. Don't buy the tiger balm. Buy a huge pack of Bic pens to hand out. Be very firm with taxi drivers, and pick the ones that look the most reputable.

I’ve never been to a country run by a lunatic.

Apparently, many of your neighbors in Portland would disagree. Anyway, I would guess Jim is right that getting the visa at the embassy in Tunis is best. Usually it is easiest from a neighboring country. I know that getting a Cambodian visa from Vietnam is way easier and cheaper than getting it from the U.S.

Twelve camels, huh?

I’ve never been there but I’ve heard that any attempt to speak the language is received well. If you want to take a real quickie course in Arabic, the Pimsleur listen and learn series is a good introduction. (learn how to say excuse me, thank you, etc.)

The only run-by-a-lunatic country I’ve visited was Malaysia. I tried not to be too vocal about my opinions, but at one point my husband was in a bookstore, skimming through a book by Dr Mahathir Mohamad and he said out loud in his American accent ‘this guy’s a f*cking buffoon.’ The bookstore clerks laughed and nodded their heads.

If we're good while you're gone, bring us back presents, okay? A T-Shirt would be nice. XXL Tall.

Grant: My advice, Michael: If asked, say you're from Canada. Works like a charm. ;)

Hey!

Everyone in Europe and the Middle East, if anyone says they're Canadian, not American, ask them how many provinces there are. Ask what the capital of New Brunswick is. Ask them if poutine eaten, smoked, drunk, or flushed. Ask what the name of the new territory is. Ask them who said "Fuddle Duddle". Ask them what their weight is in kilos. Ask them what the saying is on the Quebec license plate, or what shape the Northwest Territory plate is.

Ask them to show you their passport. Anything! We have GOT to put a stop to this particularily repugnant practice.

I guess the extremists are hip to that in Iraq now and are just assuming everyone is American by default. No free passes for Canadians anymore, Stu.

Have you read Tony Horowitz's Baghdad without a Map? It is hilarious - and in one chapter he ventures into Libya. Hi-jinks ensue.

I'm sure it will all be very interesting. An old beau of mine lives in Tunisia - would love to see North Africa myself!

To ‘conservative’ Muslims, all westerners are Europeans. In Malaysia, conservative Arabs refused to share a tour bus with us because they thought we were European.

Stu,

I know the answers to all your Canada questions except two. What the heck is "Fuddle Duddle?" And why would the Northwest Territories plate be anything other than a rectangle?

Poutin is eaten, but it should be flushed. No offense to Quebec, but that stuff is nasty. Je me souviens!

Sheila (aka Red),

Yes, I've read Baghdad Without a Map. That's a great book. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes travel writing. I'm jealous that he got to write that.

His piece on Yemen was great, too. Who knew the Middle East (including North Africa) could be such a hilarious place?

There isn't much funny about Algeria, though, which is why I'm not crossing that border.

I should set up a Canadian trivia contest.

The Northwest Territory plates are in the shape of a polar bear.

Pierre Elliot Trudeau, probably the coolest political leader ever, used the f-word during question period in Parliment. When the House Speaker asked him to repeat what he said, PET claimed to have said "Oh, fuddle-duddle". Made for a popular saying in Canada in the 70's.

And re: poutine - MacDonald's serves it here. Best stuff is in Montreal, however.

There’s a part of me, maybe 30 percent or so, that would love to visit Fallujah. But the other 70 percent says no effing way.

That ratio is just about right. Adventure is just fine, but how do you Americans say, "caution is the better part of valour"?

MJT -

XL T, here.

"My Blogmaster went to Libya and all I got was this Tshirt and a shipping container full of poorly made North Korean missile fins".

Be safe, have fun, and learn.

Carthage is in Tunisia, inside the large bay S SW from Sicily. Patton sometimes proposed that he was the reincarnation of a number of great generals, Scipio Africanus being one of them.

http://www.drudgereport.com/stp.gif

you're best bet is probably to get a Libyan visa in Tunis. They wont turn you away, they want your money. I managed to get a Syrian Visa when I was in Jordan, and I had a much easier time than friends who tried to get one from the States.

I hear Libya's beautiful. Especially the drive from Tunis--I have a friend who did it a few years ago.

have a great trip! look forward to reading about it.

Yes learn a few phrases. While in Laos not even knowing how to say "How much?" or the numbers from 1-10 caused us to waste a lot of time with otherwise hilarious gesticulations. It will also be appreciated as noted above.

I would recommend

numbers 1-100
How Much
Where is
You go to
Please
Thank you
How are you
Local customary greetings

Hire a local if there is something you want to see that may require explanation.

Also learn a bit about soccer. Who won the various leagues this past year and are there any players from Libya/Araby in the Premiership/Serie A etc.

Just to illustrate how nuts they are for the game outside the US - apparently there is a street in Tehran named after Man U's Roy Keane .

Matt,

I am going to try to acquire a 100-word speaking vocabulary in Arabic. I don't expect to read anything but numbers.

My wife is in charge of French. Most Tunisians are bilingual in French and Arabic, but not so in Libya. (Yikes.)

You can't fool us with this "Roman Africa" stuff - we know the real reason you're going to Tunisia is to visit the site where the Tatooine sequences of all the Star Wars movies were filmed..

Barry: the real reason you're going to Tunisia is to visit the site where the Tatooine sequences of all the Star Wars movies were filmed

You got me. I am going there. Not because it was in the movie, but because it's cool. Check out the photos.

DAVID...

Whoh, you're not an American?! This one comes as quite a shocker, considering just how conservative you are and all. Where abouts are you from, man? Don't even tell me you're from France.

Whoh, you're not an American?!

Grant, relax. I'm American, but I grew up overseas, thus "you Americans."

And by the way, I can be this conservative because having grown up overseas I can appreciate just how good we have it here, something I don't believe most Liberals do.

(Yes, I know Liberals like to travel, but for some reason they feel that blasting America upon their return gives them worldly credentials. That's because there's a big difference between travelling somewhere and enjoying the life of a tourist, and having to actually live there.)

David,

You're from Spain, right?

Even when I was a hardcore left-liberal, I did not come home from abroad to complain. The first time I ever left the US was on a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico. That was an eye-opening experience. I was sixteen years old. Never forgot it.

Michael,

Can't resist: Did you ever read P.J. O'Rourke's article from 1987 on trying to get from Paris to Libya while the U.S. was bombing them? Pretty funny--the upshot of it was that he spent a month stuck in Europe with visa difficulties while Europeans from Britain, France, Belgium and Germany gave him a bunch of crap for being American. The only people who were nice to him were the Libyans he met when he got up his courage to try buying a ticket on the Libyan national airline; they gave him tea, chatted with him and expressed sympathy for his plight.

Michael,

My parents are Spaniards and I lived there, and in Chile, in Ecuador, and Kenya. But I am American.

I'm sure not all Libs fit my generalization, including my Lib friend J.T. with whom I travel to Mexico.

But not too long ago I asked him why Libs are so Anti-American, and he denied it of course. We argue a lot. He said they are just anti-government, anti-Bush. Fine. That wasn't my recollection from my liberal arts college days though (Macalester).

But God loves irony because about two weeks ago he introduced me to his friend Julie, a liberal, sweet girl, who had just come back from Brazil. We went on a double date, and all she did for the next to hours was rag on the States, and on its fat, arrogant people, consumerism, malls, etc, etc. Sweet girl. I thought that was unfair coming from someone who had just lavished praise on a country where they shoot street urchins for fun, and I let her know it. The date did not go so well as you can imagine. But I thought this was very illustrative of a syndrome that I've noticed on the Left side of the aisle, even though you, Michael, may not be guilty of this.

JPS: they gave him tea, chatted with him and expressed sympathy for his plight.

That's what I would expect.

One thing the Arabs really have going for them...they are exceptionally hospitable and polite. It's part of their honor code, and they take it very seriously. Even enemies must be treated with warmth and hospitality. The fact that some people in Fallujah have pitched this over the side just goes to show how much damage Baathism has done to Iraq.

I expect (and I hope I'm not wrong) that I'll have little or nothing bad to say about Libyans as people.

You're a braver man than I, Gunga Din. Oh, and to tie it back to Steyn, be the strong horse!

Here's what my big sis has to say about the land of her childhood: "The last time I was in Libya was in 1979, so hopefully he can get more current information than I have. Based on 1979 circumstances, he could expect immense traffic jams in Tripoli, great beaches, and people who are courteous but very sober. (No booze anywhere.) The food should be good, depending on what he likes to eat. He shouldn't miss a chance to check out the ruins in Leptis Magna and Cyrene, depending on where he is geographically. The hills between Tripoli and Benghazi are very nice -- Cyrene is in the hills -- and there are probably some pleasant places to stay there."

She also counsels modest attire for the Mrs., and my Mrs. advises that PSU offers a short course on Arabic in the "summer" session.

Richard,

Thanks for the tips.

I won't have time for a PSU summer session. It will have to be language tapes for this guy.

David - nobody answered your question, it seems.

We Americans say "discretion is the better part of valor."

Well, for "Americans" being "the ones I know in California who have said or heard something like it, and that I've heard note that," which is maybe 15 people. Myself included.

Bon Voyage, Michael! I hope you stay safe, and see lots and learn lots.

In re your 100-word Arabic vocabulary and "not expecting to read anything but numbers" -- you are aware that Arabic uses different numerals than we do, are you not? (A circle is a five, not a zero; a zero is a dot; and so on.)

Daniel in Medford

Daniel: you are aware that Arabic uses different numerals than we do, are you not?

Yeah. Still easier than a whole new alphabet, though.

I have to agree with the advice to learn some of the language,goes an extrememly long way in smoothing things out. In Uzbekistan I only learned the common greeting and Russian for 'thanks', locals almost cracked their faces with the big smiles. I'll bet you'll get better response saying you're an American, Libyans are looking for tourist dollars and nothing says 'tourist dollars' like, 'Howdy, I'm an AMerican'. Wonder about currency laws though. Banks can suck but black market trading can be a little spooky. I traded with a taxi driver in Tashkent, a cop saw us and walked over. He ignored me luckily, probably wanted a $USD bribe from the taxi driver, wasn't interested in my Uzbek cash. Libyan Roman ruins are supposed to be some of the best and you will probably have better access. In France we always had to stay behind the ropes and alarms went off if you ventured off the approved path as opposed to Czech Rep. where at Austerlitz they invited us to slide acroos the Hall of Mirrors (Where Russia and Austria srurendered to Napoleon) in the cool slippers they had us wear. Good luck and have fun.

Michael--re. tourist visas...get in touch with the friendliest, most helpful person down at either Wyden or Smith's PDX offices and plead your case. They can probably put you in touch with the right people quicker than the State Dept. can. The only trick is there's really no way to find out who the most helpful person in a Senate office is. My wife has had some great help from Wyden's office on a tax issue, though--they're pretty crackerjack.

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