Michael J. Totten: Really Important Column

December 30, 2003

Really Important Column

Dave Barry asks a series of penetrating questions for which there are no answers. My favorite:

Can young people wear their pants any lower? Their waistbands are now at approximately knee level. Where will this trend end? The shins? The feet? Will young people eventually detach themselves from their pants altogether and just drag them along behind, connected to their ankles by a belt?

Posted by Michael J. Totten at December 30, 2003 11:59 PM

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For some reason young urban male style is rapidly approaching "I pissed myself but I don't have enough money to just call a cab and go home." You go, boyz.

Posted by: Christopher Luebcke at December 31, 2003 12:42 AM

The oldest recorded griping about teenagers dates back to Babylonian times, and I'm sure back in the caves the established adults complained about how these new youngsters wore their hides in an inappropriate manner.

Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing how my children try to piss me off.

Posted by: dragoon at December 31, 2003 01:05 AM

In the early seventies, with which Dave Barry would be familiar, Landlubber jeans were very popular amoung young people. These jeans featured wide bell bottoms and a very (very) short zipper, which meant the belt was closer to the, the, than the belly button. "Hip-huggers" was the word used to describe them.

By the mid to late seventies everyone had migrated to straight legged jeans and thin-whale cords that had a much longer zipper ;).

Perhaps the next fad will be to wear the jeans snugged up under the armpits? The only thing we can't be sure of is whether it will be the teens or Dave Barry's crowd that do this?!?

Posted by: steve at December 31, 2003 05:33 AM

LOL!

Posted by: poputonian at December 31, 2003 06:30 AM

I'd comment disapprovingly of modern styles (I have seen teenagers voluntarily wear kitchen wall clocks around their necks)... but then I remember what was considered cool when I was their age*, and I shudder, and I fall silent.

Moe

*If only I wore punk back then; I was taking my clothing tips from Anthony Michael Hall.

Yes, I am hanging my head in shame.

Posted by: Moe Lane at December 31, 2003 08:53 AM

I thought bell bottoms looked stupid then, and I still think they look stupid now.

I like Chris' observation. I'm going to steal that.

Sadly, there's alot to what Moe says.

Posted by: eric at December 31, 2003 10:50 AM

I am a gay man of middle age, living in San Francisco. So you can imagine that prudishness is not something I indulge in very much. But the generational warfare gene takes precedence sometimes, I guess. I was back in NY visiting family this summer and as I sat in the train at Grand Central, a teenage girl walked past me and as she moved on, I saw the crack of her butt quite clearly, at eye level, over the lowslung line of her jeans. I was instantly appalled and the tape my parents had played at me was now playing in my head at her: the world is going to hell in a handbasket, how can she expect anyone to respect her, this is going too far, etc. We are indeed a funny bunch. (But I still think it's outrageous!)

Posted by: Stephen at December 31, 2003 11:49 AM

And what's up with those sneakers that make the wearer look like she suffers from the gout?

Posted by: anonymous coward at December 31, 2003 12:04 PM

Two Things:

First, how the children of this generation give each other 'wedgies'?

If there are any teens out there reading this rather than robbing liquor stores (or whatever you do for fun these days), please explain. I'm hoping the 'wedgie' is not a generational casualty.

Second, being older doesn't mean you can't indulge in generational warfare yourself.

Example-If the child is a relation, take lots of pictures of them at their worst...then pull them out 10 years later and show them to child's potential mate and/or in-laws...in another 10 years you can show them off to child's own offspring. If you really want to play dirty, say "This is what you're going to look like in 20 years." when showing the pictures to child's offspring.
Another example-If the child is not related or known to you (some bopper bagging groceries for you at Kroger's) then smile brightly at her and say "You like exactly like a girl I dated in high school 25 years ago...right down to the clothes. It's amazing!". Then simply watch the expressions of shock, disgust and alarm run across her face...you've ruined the kid's week.

Posted by: DennisThePeasant at December 31, 2003 01:38 PM

Christ, Dennis, remind me never to get on your bad side.

Posted by: Moe Lane at December 31, 2003 04:25 PM

I have 6 nephews ages 8-15. I had to call their parents to get sizes for Christmas presents and was surprised at the sizes. Shrits must be one size larger, pants must be two sizes larger as they wear them low and the hem must drag on the ground ( no levis ), socks must be ankle high or lower (??), belts must be same size as pants and serve no purpose, underwear may only be boxers (no tighty whiteys). I was told not to attempt footwear or lids (hats) and if I did to make sure I kept the receipt. I was allowed to buy anything by Ekko. Needless to say they all got a gift certificate.

Posted by: KMK at January 1, 2004 05:49 AM

Stephen:

Perhaps the young lady you saw was in an apprenticeship program--to be a plumber.

Posted by: slimedog at January 1, 2004 09:06 AM

Don't know if his insights were true or not, but a fellow I know related talking to some of these young dudes with their pants hanging down to their knees showing boxers...said it was prison style for "available." Most bought belts. Some also bought suspenders "just in case."

Posted by: Timothy L at January 1, 2004 09:54 AM

KMK - as long as the parents of these "fashion-concious" 8-year-olds are encouraging the styles by recommending your Christmas present decisions, then the cycle will never end.

Yet another example of how a lot of kids rule their parents these days.

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